GURU PARAMARTHA AND HIS 5 FOOLISH DISCIPLES

[comedyt]

There was a rabbit nibbling on some tender grass beneath that bush and when the pumpkin fell he became frightened, as most rabbits would. He ran from the bush.

"Quickly!" screamed Mudhead when he saw it. "Catch it! Catch it! There's our horse. Catch him. He's running away!"

Both of them chased the rabbit. Up hill and down dale they chased it, hour after hour they chased it. However, the rabbit was a fast one and they couldn't catch him. Then, overcome with fatigue, Rascal fell over a rock and onto a thorny bush. The adventure resulted in a few scratches on his arms and chest and a bump on his head. He sat glumly looking up at Mudhead.

"Mudhead," he said matter-of-factly, "I'm tired, I'm sore and I'm hungry. We've lost our guru's horse and we've lost his money. What to do? I think its time for us to go back to the ashrama. It is not such a good idea to over endeavor."

And so, hungry and with no money in hand, they made their way. As they came closer to the abode of their guru they became concerned that he would severely chastise them. Overcome with anxiety they began to beat their chests and even their stomachs. They howled and cried like wolves on a full moon night. Wailing the name of their guru they tentatively stepped into the ashrama. When their guru maharaj came before them they simultaneously turned a shade of ghostly white and fainted at his feet.

Mleccha immediately ran into the kitchen and fetched a large bowl of water. He ran back and threw it over his godbrothers. Rascal, who was first to come to his senses blurted:

"Such a fast horse! I have never seen a horse run so fast. It was two hands long and looked like a rabbit. It had four legs and two very big ears. It was so small but it ran so quickly. I don't think it was an ordinary horse. Neither of us could catch him. Look what happened when I tried! We decided to return to the ashrama."

The guru heard their story, pondered the matter and then looked at them affectionately. "You lost the five gold coins and that is not such a good thing. And the horse is also gone. Quite frankly I think that is a blessing. If it is able to run so fast at such a young age, what would it be like when it grew older. I am an old man. I can't travel on a horse like that. I take it as a benediction that we didn't get the animal. It would have caused us a great deal of difficulty. Let's forget the incident. After all, it was only five gold coins. Don't worry about it."

The matter settled, guru Paramartha and his disciples went to take rest.

After some days guru Paramartha decided that he and his disciples should go on a long pilgrimage. When he told his disciples they were immediately concerned. Rascal said, "Guru maharaj, you are old and weak. It would be most irresponsible and cruel of us to take you walking over such a long distance. The least we can do is hire a bull."

...

[comedyt]

"As you wish," said the guru. "My life is in your hands."

As soon as they heard this they went out to hire a bull. Luckily, there was a farmer in a nearby village who had a bull which wasn't fit enough for agriculture but was certainly fit enough to carry an old man on pilgrimage. They agreed to pay three gold coins a day for the hire of the bull and proudly led it back to the ashrama.

Though it was a hot and heavy summer, somehow or other they managed to pack all their goods and chattels. Mudhead remembered the emergency supply of wet cow dung and having packed that, they set out on their way.

Though the tour began quite early morning, after a few hours of walking the heat became unbearable. They came across a place that was so arid that not even a blade of grass grew. The hot parched earth and lack of water made the situation unbearably intense. The poor old guru who was hungry and couldn't get any water to drink fainted and fell from the bull.

Understandably upset, the disciples lifted and supported their guru and thought frantically about a possible place for him to lie down and take rest. An easy answer was not forthcoming.

Finally Mudhead said, "We have no choice. He will have to lie down here in the shadow of the bull. That is the coolest arrangement we can make in this place."

...

[comedyt]

Weakling took his chuddar and spread it beneath the bull for his guru maharaj to lie on. Then they all helped him on to the chuddar and Fool and Mleccha used their gumpshas to fan him. Slowly, slowly the guru recovered. As the day was spent it began to cool and a slight breeze blew. The disciples helped their guru once again onto the bull and went to a nearby village to take rest. It was in this little village that the owner of the bull lived.

Early next morning they went to the farmer to return the bull and pay the three gold coin hire charge.

"How dare you offer me this paltry sum?" challenged the farmer. "This is definitely not enough payment!"

"Excuse me sir," answered Rascal, "but you previously agreed that we would pay three gold coins for a day's hire of your bull. It is not proper for you to change your mind now!"

"Three gold coins gave you the right to sit on the bull and use him for traveling purposes. However, on the road, when the day became too hot, your guru rested in the shade of my bull. That was not in the agreement. Hence you have to give more gold coins."

"This is ridiculous!" interrupted Fool. "We hired your bull for a day. Why should we pay extra for his shadow?"

Suddenly the man started swearing and the disciples were soon engaged in a brawl beyond their control. Immediately a large crowd, attracted by the harsh words and flying fists, gathered around them.

After sometime an elderly man came foreword, "What is the matter? Why are you fighting? Please calmly tell me your story and I will try to solve your problem."

Mudhead, relieved by the sober interjection, began to explain the case. Patiently and attentively the old man listened to his tale. Then, very sagaciously he began a story of his own:

"Long, long ago I was traveling the country just like you two youngsters. I had my own foodstuffs with me and was simply looking for a place to eat and take a little rest. I spied a little hotel on the side of the road and approached the man in charge.

"Dear sir," I said, "I have my own food, however I would like to relax in your little hotel and partake of it. Would you mind?"

"No. That doesn't pose any problems. Please feel free to take a seat. Please understand, however that if you do take anything from our shop you will have to pay for it."

I nodded my head, washed myself and sat down to eat. While I was eating my simple fare, a gentle breeze blew the scent of freshly cooked pakoras my way. One of the hotel cooks was busy preparing these fresh snacks. They smelt extremely tasty. However, being a poor mendicant, I couldn't afford to buy any and so I just sat there, overpowered by the smell of delicious pakoras, eating my bag of rice. When I had finished I went to the hotel-in-charge to thank him for his hospitality. When he saw me coming towards him, he said "Don't forget to pay for the pakoras."
"Pakoras?" I said, "I didn't eat any of your pakoras, I...."

Did the man really eat the Pakoras? CNP...

[comedyt]

"Come, come," he interrupted, "I was watching you. You could only eat that bag of old rice because of the smell of our pakoras."

Well I didn't know what to do. Then another man in the hotel came forward to support his in-charge."

"It is only by the smell of our pakoras that you could eat your rice. You will have to pay some fee. Usually people eat our pakoras and they pay in coinage. However, because you smelt them, you will have to pay by smelling."

Finding the whole situation incredulous, I asked, "And how do I do that?"

"It's simple," he said matter-of-factly. "Please give me your little money pouch."

When I handed it to him he immediately started rubbing it against his nose. He did this for some time and then he stopped.

"There," he said, "that is enough payment for the smell of the pakoras. I don't want to lose my nose."

Then the two went back into the hotel satisfied that the debt had been paid.

So... just as I paid for my smelling of the pakoras, you can pay for using the shadow of the bull. You can pay in sound. Just shake your money bag in the ear of the bull for some time and your debt will be cleared."

Amazed at the old man's philosophical and practical understanding of the situation, Mudhead immediately took the money pouch and began to shake it in the ear of the bull.

"That's enough," the old man declared. "The bull has heard the sound of your coins. That's enough. You have now paid for the use of the shadow of the bull. Please go now."

Grateful for the help of the old man had given, Mudhead and Rascal paid their respects and hurried back to their guru. What remained of the afternoon was spent philosophically discussing the venture.

Next venture of Guru Paramartha and his 5 foolish Disciples, CNP.

[comedyt]

Next morning guru Paramartha and his disciples got up very early because they didn't want to travel in the hot sun. After some hours of travel they came across a well-shaded garden and decided to rest there to avoid the midday heat. Still feeling fit despite the journeying, Fool explored the garden and soon found a crystal clear lake filled to the brim with refreshing cool water. He took bath and immediately felt wonderful.

At the bank of this lake was a temple of the demigod "Iyyanar", the village's presiding deity. It was the practice of the local villagers to sculpture clay horses and elephants to decorate the boundary wall. This demigod assisted Lord Shiva in controlling the ghosts and goblins and hence it was considered important that he be satisfied by an offering of beautiful artifacts for his temple.

Amidst his frolicking in the lake, Fool came across the reflection of one such sculptured horses. Immediately he became frightened, because although the sculpture was standing still, the horse in the lake was moving.

Even if Fool tried to stand very still, the horse moved. And when he tried to leave the lake it became agitated and angry. It made no noise but it certainly was active. In fear of his life, Fool scrambled out of the lake and ran back to his guru maharaj. When he arrived at the camp site his legs were shaking and he was gasping for breath.

Aware of his disciple's distress, guru Paramartha immediately got up and ran to him.

"My dear boy," he asked holding his shoulders, "what has happened? You look as pale as a person haunted by a ghost. Please sit down. Tell me what happened."

"Maharaj! Maharaj! There's a fierce and powerful horse in a little lake nearby. I was quietly going about my bathing duties when he became so agitated that I thought he was going to attack me. It was only by your sublime mercy that I was able to leave the lake rather than my life! What shall we do? That is the only lake for bathing but a terrible monster lives there. What shall we do?"

...

[comedyt]

More than a little confused, the guru turned to his other disciples, "I have trained you sufficiently to deal with such problems. What do you suggest we do?"

Mudhead replied immediately, "This is a wonderful idea, guru maharaj! We have wanted to provide a horse for you for so long. Horses are only really a problem when they're frightened. Why don't we offer it some cooked dhal, befriend it, and take it back to the ashrama."

"Very well," his mentor replied. "We will try your idea. However, I don't want anyone to enter the water. He may bite. Let's just leave the dhal on the bank of the lake and see if he can be coaxed that way...."

"My dear guru," suggested Rascal. "Why don't we try something a little quicker and simpler. Why don't we just hold a bundle of grass above the water. I'm sure he's hungry and when he sees it he will be quick to try and make it his. Then we can catch him."

"Even that is an over endeavor," interrupted Mleccha. "All we have to do is make a noise like another horse. He will come out immediately if he thinks there is another horse on the bank. If that doesn't work we can just put a buffalo in the lake. The horse wouldn't be impressed by that. I'm sure he would come out. Either way we would be in a good position to catch the animal."

Fool, who had been meditating on the problem for some time, interjected with an air of certainty, "These ideas are all quite good. However, they do not take into consideration the circumstance. This horse is in a lake. Why don't we just make a fishing rod and catch him like we would catch a fish?"

"Well thought out Fool, that is an excellent idea!" exclaimed the guru.
"Yes," echoed his disciples, "this is definitely the best idea. Let us see what we can do to please our guru maharaj."

Did they catch the Horse?

CNP.

[comedyt]

Eagerly all the disciples ran off in different directions. Within a few moments one of them came back with a garden knife. Another brought a bundle of cooked rice, yet another brought the guru's walking cane. Then Mudhead removed his turban and asked for all the different items. His idea was that the guru's cane would be the fishing rod, the turban cloth the fishing line, the knife the fishing hook and the bundle of rice the bait.

Deftly he made the peculiar contraption and threw it, hook line and bait into the water. Because of its weight and size, the lake suddenly became a mass of converging waves. The horse appeared very angry. Its legs were going in all directions and he seemed to be shaking his head ferociously. In fear, all the disciples fell back onto the riverbank. Mudhead alone persevered. He held onto the cane and waited until the waves calmed down.
"Don't be afraid," he said to his godbrothers, the horse has calmed down now. If we are quiet and patient I'm sure we will catch him. Let's try."

Meanwhile, attracted by the huge bundle of rice, a big fish in the lake began to nibble at it and pull at the cloth.

"Oh, the horse is nibbling at the bait," he yelled, "Quick, come and help me. He's a big horse. It will take all of us to pull him to the shore. Come! Come quickly!"

In less than a second, all of the disciples were doing their best to assist. Two helped by holding onto the cane. The others clasped their hands around the chests of the two in front, and pulled back with all their might. When they tugged on the line like this, the bundle was loosened and all the rice fell in the water. The knife, its blade now freed, became entangled in the reeds on the bottom of the lake.

"Oh! We've caught the horse," Mudhead yelled excitedly. "He's taken the bait. Now we will have to pull together very hard. Ready? One, two, three, pull!"

Inspired by the idea that the horse would soon be theirs, all pulled together with tremendous force. Suddenly the cloth tore in two and all the fishermen fell on their backs with a loud "thud!" "Ouch," wailed Weakling, "this catching horses business isn't easy!"

"Not only that," chorused Idiot, "Its damn painful! There must be a simpler way."

With that they all got up from the river bank rubbing their bruises and checking for scratches.

A villager, who had been observing the farce for some time, came towards them to seek an explanation.

[comedyt]

"Excuse me good sirs, what are you doing?" he asked.

Mudhead stepped forward. "We are trying to catch this wonderful horse," he said, pointing to its reflection in the lake. He then continued to give a detailed description of their plan for catching the animal.

"What fools you are!" the villager interrupted, "that is only the reflection of a clay horse. Let me show you!" He climbed onto the boundary wall of the temple and covered the clay horse with his chuddar.

"What can you see now?" he asked good-humoredly.

"Incredible!" said Rascal, "the horse has disappeared. All we can see is the color of your chuddar. Oh no! What will we do now? Our guru maharaj so much wants a horse and now we have disappointed him once again."

"Yes," continued Mudhead, "our guru maharaj is very aged and weak. He needs a horse for traveling on pilgrimage. At first we spent five gold coins on a horse egg. Unfortunately, it was broken before it hatched. Then we hired a bull and the owner not only charged us a very high rate, but insisted that we also pay for using the shadow of the animal."

"We wasted so much of our guru's money on these projects that we lost interest. Then by the mercy of God, we found this wonderful horse in the lake. We tried to catch it. However, now it seems it has disappeared. What can we do? We are such useless disciples. Our guru maharaj is truly unfortunate."

The villager's heart softened. "They are undoubtedly very foolish men," he mused. "However, they are good and innocent people and they are very dedicated to their guru. I'll give them a horse and put an end to their anxiety."

He turned to them and said, "My dear sadhus, I have an old horse. It is no show pony. However, I think you will find it suitable for carrying your guru maharaj on pilgrimage. You don't have to give me any money for it. I'm happy to donate it. Please just come to my house and I'll give it to you."

Did the Villager give away his Horse to them? CNP.

[comedyt]

Elated and enthused, the disciples jumped up and eagerly followed him home. The old mare had none of the traditional riding paraphernalia necessary and so its owner and the disciples searched high and low for anything they could use as a substitute.

Within an hour, the horse was uniquely equipped with reins made of hay, blinkers made from creepers and a saddle sewn from old cloth bags. Quite suitable for travel, but certainly not so aesthetic. Then Mudhead checked the pancika to see when would be a good time to take the horse from the donor's house and Rascal ran back to inform his guru and bring him for the presentation.

Within a few hours the guru was seated on the old mare. The whole village crowded around the strange entourage to witness the first procession. One of his disciples held the reins. Another pushed from behind. Two others stood on either side to protect their guru. Mudhead stood at the front of the strange procession announcing proudly:

"The guru is coming! Please pay your respects and move aside. The guru is coming!"

In this way the first procession left in grand style.

Guru Paramartha and his disciples were in ecstasy. At last they had their own horse and their pilgrimages were finally trouble free - or so they thought.

As life would have it, a man in a strange uniform suddenly appeared before the procession and stopped the horse.

Distressed, the disciples immediately chorused, "What are you doing? Why are you stopping us?"

"I am the tax collector," the man said menacingly. "Your horse procession is traveling on our roads. Obviously this means you will have to pay tax. Give me five gold coins or I will have to take action against you!"

Mudhead who was the most outraged, chastised the man:

"What is this? You are trying to tax our guru for traveling on a horse? This is ridiculous. He is a very old man and his body is weak. He can't walk for long distances. I have never heard of anyone collecting taxes for such a purpose. This is very unfair practice. It certainly isn't religious."

Unmoved, the tax collector admonished the group: "You fools! How dare you challenge me! Religion or no religion, you are not moving an inch from here until you give me five gold coins." He raised his fist and then stormed over to a pile of rubble, found a large old tree branch and placed it across their path.

Did they pay the tax? CNP.

[comedyt]

For many hours, in a battle of patience, the guru refused to give payment and the tax collector refused to let them proceed. When late afternoon came, the guru finally conceded. "Rascal, give him five gold coins," he sighed, "he isn't going to allow us to continue on our way unless we pay him." Grudgingly Rascal gave him the coins and the procession was once again on its way.

"What unfortunate fate," thought the guru, "if it wasn't for this horse I would be five gold coins richer. Why did I allow my disciples to bring this animal to our ashrama? Obviously it wasn't a good decision."

Just then the traveler sitting on the side of the road, got up and joined the procession. Guru paramartha began sharing his sorry tale with him.

"My dear sir, I have always traveled on pilgrimage by foot. Recently my disciples concerned for my weak old body, managed to provide me with a horse. We were traveling quite happily, when a most improper incident happened. Just like a robber this uniformed man stepped onto the road, blocked our path and demanded five gold coins in tax. He told us that travelling by horse on public roads was taxable. He refused to let us continue on our way until we gave him five gold coins. Most disgusting and disturbing behavior. What is happening to this world?"

"My dear old sadhu," said the traveler apologetically, "this world is no longer the world you once knew. Nowadays, money is guru, money is God. If you have enough money even a dead body will follow your order. Today, if you are a rascal but you have money you are considered high class and cultured. If you are poor but have all good qualities you are considered not worth knowing. What to do? In today's world only money has value."

"This is terrible," replied the guru with a disgusted look on his face. "These days if a man sees ten paise in dog stool he will pick it up and put it in his pocket."

"What is so bad about that?" the traveler asked. "Every paise counts, and besides you may collect money from dirty places but that doesn't mean the money will smell. Let me tell you a story:"

Once, not so long ago, there was a king who was notorious for harassing his citizens by taxing them. Finally he introduced a urine tax and his son was given responsibility for collecting the funds. His portfolio involved catching people urinating and immediately taxing them."

"What a nasty business," the prince complained to his father. "Why should I stand around waiting for people to pass urine? Such a low class occupation for a prince, I...."

"Just be patient," his father interjected, "just perform your duty and soon you will come to some realization about the matter!"

Some days passed and still the prince did not enjoy his duty or appreciate its efficacy. Seeing this, the king called him to the treasury house and showed him all the money. Pile upon pile of gold coins lay there glittering.

"Please my son," said the king, "go and smell the gold."

The boy did as he was told and came back confused. "Dear father," he said, "it doesn't smell. It smells when I collect it, but it certainly doesn't smell now."

"Ah! Now you understand," exclaimed the king happily. "It's the urine that smells, not the money. We can take money from any place and in anyway. There's no problem. The money will never smell!"
"An interesting story," said the guru, "and not too far from being the reality, it seems."

Guru and the traveler continued their discussions as they walked, and soon evening was upon them. They came to a small village and the party decided to take rest on its outskirts. They took bath in a lake, let the horse free to pasture and settled down to take rest. When they awoke early next morning they found that the horse had disappeared. Rascal quickly took bath and traveled from house to house in the village looking for the horse.


Before long, he found it tied to a tree outside a farm house. The farmer, who owned the house, was relaxing on the verandah. Rascal rushed to him and said:
"Dear sir, this is our horse. He disappeared last night. Please be reasonable and honest in your dealings and give him back to us!"

Did they get the horse back? CNP.